albionspeak 2: the gates of dis (16.7)
SESSION 94: 7TH NIGHT, 8/7/04
Our invocation: From The Tempest, IV.1:
Our revels now are ended: these our actors,
As I foretold you, were all spirits, and
Are melted into air, into thin air:
And, like the baseless fabric of this vision
The cloud-capp’d towers, the gorgeous palaces
The solemn temples, the great globe itself
Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve,
And, like this insubstantial pageant faded
Leave not a rack behind: We are such stuff
As dreams are made of, and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep…
11:10 PM
1. Q: [Guide], are you there?
A: I AM ALL EYES & WINGS
ASCEND IN THOUGHT [Albion] & A & [Scribe]
As this was our last night, [Scribe] had a quick question from a friend (in the language of Castaneda).
2. Q: [Guide], a friend asks: Why be in a nagual’s [master’s] circle, if not for an exchange of energies?
A: WHICH ENERGIES?
SO MANY EXCHANGES ALL [THE] TIME
SOME AIDED BY TEACHERS & SOME THWARTED
OURS IS A NET MEANT TO EXCHANGE POWERS WITHOUT DOMINATING OR DEFORMING
3. Q ([Scribe]): I intend to convey your message.
Have you an exercise for us?
A: [YES] IMAGINE YOURSELF ON [THE] FOURTH STEP
TAKE A MOMENT & MEDITATE ON WHAT IS ABOVE
4. Q: Any further instructions?
A: LET IT ARISE AS IN A DREAM
5. Q: We begin now.
A: OUR INTENT IS GATHERD ON THIS STEP
I JOSEF AM WITH YOU MY SONS
I WILL AID YOU IN YOUR EXERCISE &…
6. ALL WILL ANSWER & HEAR
Well, we’d done our homework to the best of our collective abilities: we had several candidate A-words; yet none of them fully satisfied us. Ascent, arrival and arc were among the first to be considered, but what could they really add to our discussion? “Aid comes from above” offered other clues we didn’t particularly find compelling. During our walk at [a nearby park], [Scribe] introduced awaken, which he came to following an intricate series of clues I can’t here reconstruct. (Just as I didn’t particularly need [Scribe]’s reasons when he hit on a correct guess, I didn’t need them when I felt the guess was incorrect.) I, on the other hand, was unwilling to abandon the too-obvious aliah, mostly because of its æsthetic symmetry to aurora. Then, after a brief nap in the afternoon, I awoke to a single “sent” A-word, avatar, which seemed to have some potential, but in the end was not supported by any of us.
So we failed, except that our efforts led us much closer to an understanding of what the highest step entails. At the very least, we knew both aliah & the Jewel have to be incorporated into Step 5, if not by a direct naming or appositive. Beyond this, we were at a loss.
Step 5: Atonement
7. Q: We very much have need of your aid, Josef. Our guesses at the name of Step 5 are many & scattered.
A: DO NOT TROUBLE YOURSELVES ABOUT [THE] NAME FOR [THE] PRESENT
LET US RATHER THINK TOGETHER ABOUT WHAT [THE] MODE OF ATTENTION MAY BE
A Review of Wand
8. Q: How do we begin, Josef?
A: GIVE ME A QUICK REVIEW OF WAND, PLEASE
§ DON
9. Q: Greetings, Don. Wand mode is transformative & essentially involves other minds (collaborative). The seeker’s mind is also in a process transforming itself.
A: IN [THE] NAME OF WHAT?
Quickly & without discussion each of us wrote down our separate responses to Don’s question on a scrap of paper.
10. Q (A): In order to ascend the ladder (ascent itself )
([Scribe]): In the name of the eternal center (the Jewel)
([Albion]): The Jewel
A: SO TRANSFORMATION ASKS [THE] SEEKER TO APPROACH SOME AIM OR END & NOT TO TRANSFORM ENDLESSLY?
11. Q: That has to be so.
A: AID COMES FROM ABOVE
BUT ONE APPROACHES [THE] SOURCE OF AID & SO BECOMES OF ONESELF A SOURCE
12. Q ([A--]): The path of ascent is in & of itself a kind of aid.
A: IT IS RECALL PARACELSUS?
The Rose of Paracelsus was one of Borges’ last stories and one [A--] had fully absorbed already. Briefly, a seeker accosts the master Paracelsus, wanting to become his disciple. Before giving up everything, however, the seeker wants proof that Paracelsus really is a master. He asks Paracelsus to restore a rose which has been thrown into a fire. Paracelsus then allows the seeker to believe that he is a fraud, and the man leaves in dismay/disgust -- after which, Paracelsus restores the rose.
The Restoration of the Rose
13. Q: In the story, the seeker asks for aid in finding the Stone. Paracelsus says: The stone is the path. [“The path is the stone.”]
A: EXACTLY & YET [THE] POWER OF RESTORATION IS REAL
QUESTION FOR A?
14. Q ([A--]): Fire away, Don.
A: WHERE IS [THE] STONE?
15. Q ([A--]): The stone lies within.
A: AT [THE] MOMENT OF SEEING IT ONE ASCENDS
ISNT IT STRANGE TO ARRIVE IN THIS WAY?
16. Q ([A--]): It isn’t so much strange as an adventure into the self: through learning more of the self you are thus transformed.
A: I AGREE & YET [THE] MIND MUST FINALLY SEE ITSELF IN A LIGHT THAT LEAVES MERE TRANSFORMATION BELOW
17. Q ([A--]): Through the transformation & change of the self, one can reform the rose.
A: THIS IS [THE] PURPOSE OF OUR CIRCLE & OUR NET
[FLOWER] RESTORATION RESTORATION
Recall, “restoration restoration” is one our oldest creeds. Here, Don uses the drawing of the flower in the corner of our board.
18. Q ([A--]): Does not Step 5 involve the restoration of the rose?
A: IT DOES AND NOTE THAT EVEN AT STEP FOUR ITS QUALITIES LIE AT RANDOM SCATTERD & SCENTLESS
I’s Misuse of the Ladder
19. Q: But we cannot omit the Jewel from this process of restoration.
A: I’S BELIEF WAS THAT [THE] JEWEL WAS TO BE MADE USE OF UNTIL [THE] LAST MOMENT [THE]N DISCARDED AT [THE] APEX
An obvious inversion, although one can see how one can fool oneself. We quote Don’s discussion from last year on the self not being located amidmost on the wheel.
20. Q: “I as identity cannot be central.” But up till the final moment (of ascent), it seems that it can be.
A: EVEN MORE STRANGELY [THE] ALONENESS OF IDENTITY IS WHAT PROVIDES [THE] MEASURE WITH FOCUS & POWER
What we loosely call ego certainly can provide power. I suspect this begins at the aurora level, when one aligns oneself with the most obvious of poles: to be or not to be. From there, ego’s in the driver’s seat and creates its own measures, delusions and reality.
21. Q: We hypothesize: I undertook a false & forced collaboration with others at
Step 4.
A: COLLABORATION IS ALWAYS SOMEWHAT OUT OF [THE] MIND’S CONTROL & COMPREHENSION
IT REALLY EVADES MANIPULATION & YET [THE] FALSE TACTIC SEEMS TO SUCCEED
22. Q: To ascend to Step 5, any illusion of control must be left below.
A: BUT TO LEARN SUCH ARTS ONLY TO EMPTY ONES HANDS?
I will claim credit for Q#22, which might explain why I was so affected by Don’s response. It does seem for naught, to work so hard just to become the instrument of another’s will (albeit the Jewel & the Good). And clearly ideal humans retain free will and are manifest as instruments which can play themselves. Nevertheless, it seems equally clear that one must be ready to give up everything. To grow is to add, but it is also to give up weaknesses, childish ways, attachments. Who can say what at the next level will be deemed valuable and what from that last was childish, trash? We must accept ourselves unconditionally, in a naked state, to be accepted unconditionally.
23. Q: When the seeker comes to Paracelsus’ laboratory, he sees that the alchemical vessels are standing unused.
A: ALCHEMY IS SO TO SPEAK [THE] ART OF [THE] WAND
24. Q: Transformation does not cease at Step 5.
A: BUT [THE] ROSE IS NOT MERELY TRANSFORMED BUT RESTORED
A SHATTERED WHOLE RECOALESCES
AID HAS COME FROM ABOVE BECAUSE [THE] MIND HAS BECOME [THE] AGENT OF AID
Thus this final transformation transcends transformation itself.
25. Q: “Restoration” and “recoalescing” require energy.
A: OF A PARTICULAR SORT
ONLY ALIAH CAN ENACT [THE]SE CHANGES
26. Q: The mind itself is one of those shattered things- - scattered roses -- that has to be restored at Step 5.
A: [YES] EVERY EARLIER STEP AT ONCE UNIFIES & SCATTERS [THE] MIND
YET EACH ENACTMENT IS NEEDED IN ORDER TO ASCEND
27. Q ([A--]): We are all phoenixes.
A: INEVITABLY SO AND EACH STAGE MAKES [THE] FIRE FIERCER
ASCENT IS ARDUOUS
28. Q ([Albion]): Every stage has a cost.
A: IDEALLY A COST WE ARE WILLING & NEED TO PAY
29. Q ([Scribe]): Does one see the Jewel at the apex?
A: ONE BECOMES [THE] AGENT OF [THE] JEWEL ITS EYE & HAND IN TIME
- JOSEF SPEAKS
At this moment I had a flash of yet another A-word, angel. This is not a word [Scribe] & I tend to use with respect to our k-universe, although from a historical and/or literary perspective it is unavoidable. I know, when I mentioned this word to the others, that I spoke of the angel of Dante who opens the gates of Dis -- primarily, of course, referring to the intent-in-the-name-of that so impressed C.S. Lewis. I forget if it was I or [Scribe] who brought in Blake’s “Jacob’s Ladder” at this time. I’ll add that I felt pretty good about angel: It came from deep within/without; it came from intent; it fit certain criteria and aided our discussion; it came at precisely the right moment in the discussion. Yet, unlike with [Scribe]’s correct guesses at the earlier rungs, I still lacked that calm confidence that comes from knowing deeply that something is true.
Suddenly it became clear that Josef was going to have something long and final to say. Thus, I (& probably [A--], though I don’t know) did not see any part of Josef’s response until all was done.
To a Sleeping World
30. Q: We think of angels as the agents of Above -- ascending & descending the ladder in Jacob’s dream (as painted by Blake).
A: IF YOU ARE MESSENGERS IT IS WITH A PARTICULAR AGENCY
BLAKES LADDER INCLUDES OUR ASPIRATIONS & OUR PARTICULAR MODE OF ATTENTION TO A SLEEPING WORLD
WE ARE…
31. [THE] SEEKERS WHO ASCEND IN ORDER TO REMAKE A
SCATTERED WORLD AND…
32. MAKE OUR OBJECTS OF ATTENTION
WHOLE AGAIN & AT ONE WITH [THE] JEWEL
WE AGREED TO CALL [THE] LAST STEP OF THIS DISCIPLINE…
33. Q: So many guesses: Arrival? Awakening? the final Arc?
A: ATONEMENT SIMPLY
DREAM WELL DEAR SONS
YOU HAVE LABORED IN [THE] NAME OF [THE] JEWEL
LET US BE AT ONE
I JOSEF SPEAK
1:17 AM
Atonement is not a word we had considered. Interestingly, I tend to believe I would have rejected it had it come to mind. My main reason for “rejecting” it probably would have come from its failing (in my mind) to mirror or parallel auroras in a purely aesthetic context. This mirroring was an important criterion for me with other word candidates and was, for example, my chief reason for not subscribing to [Scribe]’s awakening. Another reason I probably would have discounted it is that atonement has religious connotations (i.e., expiation from sin) which are, again, substantively unlike (not parallel to) our other words. That is, wand and wave are short and very concrete. Aurora and measure are less short and more abstract, but not nearly as abstract as atonement in its Christian context. But, as [Scribe] and my dictionaries all insist, this Christian definition came late and is undoubtedly not the meaning intended by ourselves outside of time. Atonement, taken as it originally evolved, comes (strangely) straight from at one ment, unity within oneself and with God (however defined). Taken literally then, atonement is not abstract after all.
[Additional reasoning censored because it depends on wordplay on [A--]'s name.]
A minor postscript: Talking to [Scribe] on the phone a week after these sessions, I was surprised by his disappointment in our failure to arrive at atonement. I recalled how in our post-session debriefing he had agreed with me: that our failure was not a catastrophe, nor even a bad thing; we had given our best and almost knocked off the whole puzzle; but, well, we fell short. I actually felt rather good about our labor (in the name of the Jewel), even though I personally had failed to come up with any of the four missing words.
But [Scribe] was, a week later, mad at himself, at what he felt was a lack of effort to scour the available resources, wherein with hindsight he claimed all leads preexisted in plain sight. It is not for me to gauge [Scribe]’s efforts. I know I would not have discovered atonement, even if I’d been given more time and somehow devoted more energy to the task. As I mention above, I don’t think I would have credited atonement had I stumbled upon it. Should [Scribe] have answered correctly? Could he have followed the clues?
I have to believe we would only be offered a puzzle which could reasonably be answered (i.e., no impossible puzzles, at least not yet); and therefore, we could have gotten it right. On the other hand, a puzzle is only worthwhile if it lies at the periphery of one’s ability, if it’s just difficult enough.
Which means: a puzzle is only good if it’s tough enough to stump you. Should [Scribe] have gotten it then? I will add for [Scribe]’s benefit only that his failure had nothing to do with effort (on which account he was kicking himself). If he had lighted upon the correct avenue of investigation, nothing would have stopped us from pursuing it. That we failed to consult the right sources, then, had nothing to do with effort and was entirely due to other factors less within our immediate control: imagination, reception, connection, and, if it applies within this domain, luck.
Then again, Josef did spell out atone for us in the penultimate response. He gave us one last hint -- right when we most needed it, right out in the open -- and we still missed it.
Atonement
Wand
Absence Cost Measure Cricket Aliah
Wave
Auroras